Post by Abbye on Feb 13, 2024 19:56:04 GMT -8
My Daily Life
Living with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and being neurodivergent encompasses a multitude of challenges that shape daily life in profound ways. Living my daily life means navigating a complex landscape of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that can feel overwhelming, at times.
There's a constant struggle to stay focused and organized amidst the chaos of racing thoughts and sensory overload. Simple tasks can become daunting challenges, as the mind jumps from one idea to another, making it difficult to maintain attention or follow through with plans. This lack of concentration isn't a fleeting distraction, but rather a persistent presence that marks every moment of the day.
The experience of switching identities is not a voluntary act but rather an involuntary response to internal or external triggers. It's like being swept up in a current, carried away by forces beyond one's control. The transitions between identities can be disorienting and disconcerting, with each identity vying for control and recognition, leaving one feeling lost and fragmented. It's a constant struggle to maintain a sense of coherence and continuity as my mind constantly shifts and changes.
There's a constant sense of unease and hypervigilance, as past traumas continue to haunt the present, triggering intense emotional reactions and flashbacks. The world can feel like a minefield, with seemingly innocuous triggers setting off a cascade of memories and emotions that threaten to overwhelm and engulf.
Because of the years of personal trauma in my life, I have a lot of blank spots in my memory. There's a lot of stuff I can't remember and the memories can't be retrieved. Things I seem to remember are negative memories which I am trying to replace with more positive thoughts.
In addition to these internal struggles, interacting with others presents its own complications. Social cues and norms are often misunderstood or misinterpreted. The constant effort to decipher non-verbal cues and navigate social situations can be exhausting, leading to feelings of isolation and alienation. Trust is a significant and understandable issue, as past experiences may have instilled a deep-seated wariness of others' intentions and motivations. Subconsciously scanning surroundings for any signs of danger, exploitation, or deception, can lead to feelings of being on edge or anxious.
Although my intelligence and extensive education may appear as an advantage, they do not shield me from the challenges of mental health. I grapple with a significant challenge: low reading comprehension. It's a frustrating paradox — possessing the ability to comprehend complex ideas and engage in deep intellectual discourse, yet struggling to grasp the meaning of written text. This difficulty hampers my ability to absorb information efficiently. Even with efforts to improve my reading skills, the gap between my intelligence and reading comprehension persists, serving as a constant reminder of the unique hurdles I face in navigating the world.
Alongside managing my already challenging circumstances, I also contend with the ordinary stresses of daily life that everyone faces. Dealing with matters of income, relationships, household responsibilities, and other obligations adds another layer of complexity. These everyday pressures, while common to many, can feel magnified when compounded by my neurodivergent conditions. Additionally, having a very small circle of support poses its own challenge. Despite the best intentions of those who do support me, their understanding of my complex issues may be limited, leaving me feeling isolated and misunderstood.
Even though I face these internal and external challenges, my hope for a better tomorrow remains unwavering. Despite these obstacles, I am determined to keep pushing forward, trusting in His timing and guidance. It's a journey fraught with uncertainty and difficulty, but also one filled with moments of strength, growth, and resilience.
www.gofundme.com/f/disconnexion
Living with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and being neurodivergent encompasses a multitude of challenges that shape daily life in profound ways. Living my daily life means navigating a complex landscape of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that can feel overwhelming, at times.
There's a constant struggle to stay focused and organized amidst the chaos of racing thoughts and sensory overload. Simple tasks can become daunting challenges, as the mind jumps from one idea to another, making it difficult to maintain attention or follow through with plans. This lack of concentration isn't a fleeting distraction, but rather a persistent presence that marks every moment of the day.
The experience of switching identities is not a voluntary act but rather an involuntary response to internal or external triggers. It's like being swept up in a current, carried away by forces beyond one's control. The transitions between identities can be disorienting and disconcerting, with each identity vying for control and recognition, leaving one feeling lost and fragmented. It's a constant struggle to maintain a sense of coherence and continuity as my mind constantly shifts and changes.
There's a constant sense of unease and hypervigilance, as past traumas continue to haunt the present, triggering intense emotional reactions and flashbacks. The world can feel like a minefield, with seemingly innocuous triggers setting off a cascade of memories and emotions that threaten to overwhelm and engulf.
Because of the years of personal trauma in my life, I have a lot of blank spots in my memory. There's a lot of stuff I can't remember and the memories can't be retrieved. Things I seem to remember are negative memories which I am trying to replace with more positive thoughts.
In addition to these internal struggles, interacting with others presents its own complications. Social cues and norms are often misunderstood or misinterpreted. The constant effort to decipher non-verbal cues and navigate social situations can be exhausting, leading to feelings of isolation and alienation. Trust is a significant and understandable issue, as past experiences may have instilled a deep-seated wariness of others' intentions and motivations. Subconsciously scanning surroundings for any signs of danger, exploitation, or deception, can lead to feelings of being on edge or anxious.
Although my intelligence and extensive education may appear as an advantage, they do not shield me from the challenges of mental health. I grapple with a significant challenge: low reading comprehension. It's a frustrating paradox — possessing the ability to comprehend complex ideas and engage in deep intellectual discourse, yet struggling to grasp the meaning of written text. This difficulty hampers my ability to absorb information efficiently. Even with efforts to improve my reading skills, the gap between my intelligence and reading comprehension persists, serving as a constant reminder of the unique hurdles I face in navigating the world.
Alongside managing my already challenging circumstances, I also contend with the ordinary stresses of daily life that everyone faces. Dealing with matters of income, relationships, household responsibilities, and other obligations adds another layer of complexity. These everyday pressures, while common to many, can feel magnified when compounded by my neurodivergent conditions. Additionally, having a very small circle of support poses its own challenge. Despite the best intentions of those who do support me, their understanding of my complex issues may be limited, leaving me feeling isolated and misunderstood.
Even though I face these internal and external challenges, my hope for a better tomorrow remains unwavering. Despite these obstacles, I am determined to keep pushing forward, trusting in His timing and guidance. It's a journey fraught with uncertainty and difficulty, but also one filled with moments of strength, growth, and resilience.
www.gofundme.com/f/disconnexion